Fun with Sinus Infections!

Yep. Sinus infection.

Fucking cunt factory.

So I saw my friends' production of Scapino at our college tonight. It was great. Maybe it's because I'm all hopped up on cold meds and there were bright colors everywhere. Or maybe it's because there was a two minute scene in which one of the guys fucked a juke box.

Probably the juke box thing. I may have squealed like a drunk middle-aged divorcee at a Chippendales show.

But yeah, they were all fuckin' great...I mean come on, I'm not friends with UN-talented people. I'm shallow and awful, it's kind of my shtick. It just sucked having to drag myself out of the house with what is now a full blown  sinus infection. It's like have Satan skull fuck me for hours on end.

Anyhoo, in order to amuse myself tonight, I've recruited my loyal and sexually attractive roommate, Hotpants. Mamabear is out for the night with her overly perfect boyfriend. (Quick backstory, Mamabear is the only one of us smart enough to stop dating actors. Her Boyfriend Abe is gorgeous, a dentist, and surprised her tonight with fucking COUPLES MASSAGES. We hate her right now. Bitch.) But yes, I've recruited Hotpants to amuse me since I can't leave the apartment on what would normally be a drunk pile of craziness (It's Friday for fuck's sake!)

My plan for entertainment, since I personally can't drink, but Hotpants CAN, is that I'm gonna get her good and sloshed on cheap wine/vodka. THEN, only when she is falling and sputtering, shall I videotape her telling in detail the entirety of Hamlet Prince of Denmark. For any of you who've seen the glorious and hysterical Drunk History (YouTube it if you haven't already. It's AMAZING) it's pretty much inspired by that. Only with Shakespeare.

So Hopefully by the end of the night I'll have a video of my lovely roommate drunkenly sputtering about Ophelia. I'll slop it together at some point and put it up here for ya'll to laugh at. After all, what are friends for, if not to humiliate them on the internet.

Bagel Girl Out.

p.s. By looking at the picture below, you may figure out both WHY I chose the nickname "Hotpants" for my roommate, AND why it makes me laugh to get a few cocktails in her....bahaha. Drunk slut.

Extra Update! My glorious roommate just made me nearly pee my pants. So we're watching this miniwheats  commercial, and the narrator says,

"Studies show that children who eat breakfast perform better in school than those who don't."

To which Hotpants replies, without out a beat,

"I want to know what children they deprived of breakfast to do that study."

fucking brilliant

Here's my whore roommate