So I've had this cunt of a cold for like a week now. And I'm pretty sure the cause of said cold came from annihilating my body for the week before. "Dollar beers at Big City Tap on Thursdays?" "Our buddies are working at Trader Todd's Tonight?!" "The Liquor store is open?!!!!"
Yes, yes, these are all GREAT reasons to imbibe a littl
e more than usual. But nevertheless, my wonderful roommates, (Hotpants and MamaBear) along with a vivid cast of fun friends, have all helped me destroy myself recently. Absolutely necessary too - trust me. A certain guy caused me to drunkenly text him that he is a "lying cheating pig."
Oh yeah folks. I'm THAT girl. I never thought something could out-do drunk-dialing....and then came texts. I've recieved such gems such as "hy sxxy i misss u!! lets jst do it!" and the more obscure "the cabinets r on fire but it wuznt me itwuz the plumber. TEQUILA!!"
Anyhoo! That was a bit of a transition, but yes. I have a cold. So!! I was about to get on the L coming back from a dance class and I have the sniffles like a mo fo. Not cute tissue-commercial sniffles. But like, gross. Gross. GROSS sniffles. And I finally get on
the train and I'm like "Jesus! Finally I can dig in my purse, find a fucking tissue and get my nose-blow on. So during the full glory of my disgusting nose blow, I look over and see this guy........drawing me.
This fucking hipster-ass-I'm-going-to-obviously-draw-you-on-the-train-because-I'm-edgy-and-real ass hat is quite obviously doing a portrait of a sick blonde.
Fuck monster.
I mean really dude? I do NOT need to know that there will be some picture of me with my hair all disheveled in my sweaty dance clothes BLOWING MY NOSE, floating around your half assed portfolio for some second rate art school. Ugh.
Who knows. Maybe I'll become a painting. Titled "Ew. Portrait of a Gross College Girl."
Bagel Girl Out. I've got a roommate who's dog died and we're going to drink until we find her a new dog in the alley next to our apartment.
I shall name him Henry.
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